Patient Diagnosis

For the last 3 or 4 days I have had this nagging head-congestion accompanied with the usual head-aches and ear-aches. I thought I had the flu, but the thermometer said otherwise. It showed a normal temperature of 98.6. As we all know, if you don't have a fever, nobody sympathizes. So inspite of feeling incredibly crappy, I managed to host a game night, go shopping for 6 hours straight, play tennis (of course on the Wii), edit my wedding video, go to church and make a week's supply of celery-pea soup!!

Last night after making the celery pea soup, I sat down to have dinner while watching House. (Don't know what that is? Read Tube Attractions). As the episode progressed, and Dr. House was making one differential diagnosis after another, it dawned on me that I should diagnose myself. By now the symptoms had compounded to no taste in the mouth, body ache and an upset stomach. I thought now I must definitely have a fever, I feel hot all over. So out came the thermometer. first take - 98.5. Second take - 98.7.

Paul: So how much?
Me: (Really puzzled) 98.7
Paul: Isn't that normal?
Me: grunting... Yes....
Paul: Hmmmm....
Me: Something is wrong. I feel like crap, Darn it!!

On the TV, a limping House is pulling and pushing an unwilling patient's gurney to the MRI room, against his will. I decided to think like House. If I am right, then who is worng? Paul!! :) Seriously, apart from Paul, the thermometer. The thermometer is wrong, I conclude. Now to prove the little guy wrong. I get up with a new found energy, wash and dry the thermometer and hold it infront of Paul, an inch from his mouth. A very baffled Paul obediently open's his mouth and let's me take his temperature. And... And... And...

His temperature was 97.5!!!

So!??! So?!? So, you ask??!?

So the normal temperature according to my disfunctional thermometer is 97.5 not 98.7 as it should have been!! Meaning that when it said my temperature was 98.7, it meant it actually was, 99.9. I had a fever!!!! Which in turn means I can throw my weight around and be bossy. :P On a second thought, I do that anyway :D

Conclusion: If Dr. House were real, he would be proud of me :) He might have even hired me!!

Anyway the next day I wasn't feeling very good, so I decided to stay home from work. In my free time, I was thinking about how I spent my weekend and realized no one would guess I was ill. But if you looked very, very carefully, you would see a few signs. So I made a list.

You know you are ill, when:

- Used tissues pop out of your pant, shirt and coat pockets!!

- Your husband plays the song he hates, just because you like it. You are really ill if he plays it twice. You aren't terminally ill, if he objects when you play it a third time :)

- You insist that your husband buy green peas and celery so you can make soup. In the night. In pouring rain. And he agrees (So sweet...)

- You forget to mention fat free milk and ask him to go out again. And he agrees. (Even Sweeter)

- He gives up TV rights on a sunday so you could watch what you want. You know you aren't terminally ill when, after an hour of amusing himself, he insisits you play some tennis with him! (Of course on the Wii)

Good health to all of ya!!!