The Ghosts of 'Years' Past, Present and Yet to Come...

Warning: Unusally long post...

We have all read the Charles Dickens story, A Christmas Carol. Though it is wrapped in the Christmas theme, the message of the story is very important and can be applied to our lives. In this story, the miser Ebenezer Scrooge was a lucky guy. He was lucky not because he had tons of money, but because he had three ghosts, The Ghost of Christmas Past, The Ghost of Christmas Present and The Ghost of Christmas Future, who helped him realize his mistakes and eventually right his wrongs.

Each one of us has these ghosts too, but they take the form of real people who surround us. These are our friends and family who are always praising, criticising or advising us. I was wondering who my ghosts of Past, Present and Future would be, and what lessons would I learn if I took a journey with each of them.


The Ghost of 'Years' Past

Who: My family - mostly my parents, Diya and John; My friends from Kindergarten to college; My teachers.

What Would I see: A happy child, a short tempered teen, a stubborn young adult and young but wiser working woman, wishing she had been less trouble to her parents. But I see a very happy childhood, lots of laughter, loads of fun and never ending love and affection. But some random incidents stand out, incidents that taught me lessons that stuck.

In 5th grade, me standing outside class because I forgot my Kannada homework. It had become my habit in 5th grade to for get home work and things at home. I would go down to the office and call home and either Diya, John, or my maid would come and deliver it. And I would escape any punishment. But that day, as Diya was walking to my class to give me my Kannada home work, she passed my class teacher Annie Ma'am. Annie Ma'am stopped for a chat, and when she found out why Diya was there, she asked her to go back home. She said if I wasn't punished, I wouldn't learn my lesson. I stood outside for the rest of the class, waiting.

In 8th grade, me sitting outside the hall steps and crying, while someone else is giving a debate on whether or not Democracy is right for India. I had won every single speech or debate I had given in middle school. This was my first debate in high school, and I was overconfident and cocky because of my previous victories. Just before we were about to start, the judge announced that we could see our notes. I knew every letter and comma in my notes by heart, but I thought this new development meant I would win, hands down. I took my notes with me, but they only distracted me. I forgot my lines and had to pause to find them again. I braved my way through the rest of the speech, but when I finished, I came out. I sat on steps beside the entrance and cried, wishing I had knocked the chip off my shoulder before I stood before the lectern.

In 10th grade, me standing at the doorway of the train compartment and looking pleadingly at my mother, as the train pulled out of the station to take us to my final Guides camp. I had been so busy getting badges and certificates signed for all the other scouts and guides in my group, that I didn't have time to pack for myself. When I realized at the station that I had forgotten the most important certificate required for the camp, they delayed the train and my guide teachers husband rushed to my house to get it. But they couldn't locate it. Finally my parents sent my brother on a bus with what they thought were the certificates and he met me as I got off the train. But I realized they were the wrong ones. I barely had any hope. But my parents then found the right one and sent it through my cousin's friends, who drove to the campsite that was in the middle of no where.

What I have learnt: It's not enough to do your homework, you need to bring it too - this translates to, it's not enough to talk of what you have achieved, you have to prove it too. And if you don't pay the price for your mistakes, you'll only repeat them.

It doesn't matter what you have achieved in the past, because when people judge you, it's based on how you perform in the present. And overconfidence is never a good thing.

It doesn't matter how much responsibility you take on, if you don't take responsibility for yourself first. And for God's sake organize your certificates!! (That's the first thing my Mom told me when I came home from the camp :)


The Ghost of the Present

Who: My family - My parents, my siblings, My husband, his parents and siblings; My friends - those whom I have carried forward to this day and the family friends I have made here.

What would I See: I would see a 24 year old, trying to adjust to the rapid changes in her life.

March 2nd 2007, the day I quit my first job and rode my office bus back home for the last time. I was so scared and so unsure of what was to come. Wondering if I'll even get a second job in the US.

When the gate closed at the US Consulate in Chennai, and I could no longer see my father on the other side, my eyes filled up with tears. Until then I had been acting very brave and casual. But when the gate closed and Pappa was no longer allowed in, it struck me how, if this Visa didn't go through, I couldn't come to the US, couldn't get married and I would be stuck here, without any job. All my worries seemed silly though, when the interview was over in less than 30 seconds.

How at the Airport my heart physically hurt as the truth drove home, I wouldn't be able to see my parents every week as I used to. My life had reached the point of no return. That moment, standing in the check-in line, inching forward, as I turned and looked at Pappa with his eyes moist, is to this day, physically and emotionally, the most painful moment in my life.

The day I saw Rachel for the first time in the US, how she woke me up, smiled, took my hand and started walking around the house. After a few rounds she took off her footy and danced for me in her nappy :D (At that age she loved taking off her clothes!)

And my wedding day, and my surprise at the sheer lack of any worry. How I kept repeating vows under my breath so I wouldn't forget it, when it was my turn to repeat them. How Paul had to struggle to carry me over the threshold of the hotel room on our wedding night :D.

My regret at seeing my wedding photos and wishing I had been more determined about losing weight. :( Any way that's an annual regret.

Getting my green card.

Giving my first job interview in the US and getting the job!! :)

What I Have Learnt: Though it was a roller coaster ride of emotions, all in all, I did well.

Worrying doesn't help, except to loosen my teeth (I tend to grind my teeth when I'm stressed out, or so my dentist thinks).

How ever difficult a meeting or interview, proper preparation (mostly by Paul) and prayers (mostly by our parents) will get you through.

Your parents and brother maybe faraway, but you can still talk to them everyday and make them a part of your everyday life. (Thanks to the VOIP phone :)

If you want to lose weight, then do something about it, else stop cribbing about it. (This is a lesson I keep forgetting though....)

I have a gem of a husband!!


The Ghost of 'Years' Yet to Come

Who: My family - those mentioned earlier, my nephews and nieces and my children; My friends; My Teachers.

What would I see: Hopefully a happy, healthy, me. With a postgraduate degree and a non-software job and a couple kids (at least 1 daughter :). Diya, David and kiddies will have settled in Portland. So my kiddies will have loads of cousins (Rose and Tony are here anyway).

If I stuck to my gymming (I started this morning), then I would see a healthy me and Paul. Otherwise I see a dead me in my late 30s, on the autopsy table and when the pathologist cuts my heart, he sees that all the arteries are clogged with peanut butter :O

I would have convinced Paul that cleaning the bathrooms every week is a good idea, especially if He does it. :) If I succeed in this, I'll move on to convince him he should do the laundry too. :D

What I Have Learnt: If the first kid is a boy, and the second is also a boy, either give him up for adoption and try again for a girl, or start saving for a sex change operation!! (Ok, I'm kidding. I would NEVER do either)

Say 'NO' to Peanut Butter. (Easier said than done ;)

Got to think of more ways to convince David to move to Portland. If, he disagrees, abduct the kids, they are my god children anyway. (Ok, I'm kidding about that too. Or maybe not.... :} ->Wicked grin)


I would like to end the last blog of the year with a story our priest told us at church. It is a very simple yet powerful story. It is the story of life. In life, each one of us is expected to juggle 5 balls. These balls represent Family, Friends, Health, Work and Integrity. These balls are made of glass and so we can't drop them. We have to always juggle them, and keep them in the air. But over time we learn that one of the balls is made of rubber and will bounce back if dropped. Which of the five is the rubber ball?





Yes??





What is it?!





What are you waiting for?!?





Really, What IS IT you are waiting for?





Are you waiting for the answer? Ya.....

Actually my priest left us hanging in the balance too. But he did tell the answer after a while. So Shall I, but after a while :). Take the poll on the right. It's an anonymous poll, so I won't know who answered what. I'm just curious what all of you think. If you want to explain your answer, leave a comment. (Paul, don't take this poll!!!) I wonder how many votes there are gonna be. My guess is 2 or 3. I shall post the answer after a week.

Happy New Year everyone!!! May the coming year see a New you, a Happy you but mostly a Wiser you. And a toast to all the things that matter - Family, Friends, Love and God. Cheers!!

Until next year then, Ta Ta!!

I Dream of a 'Semi-White' Christmas!!

Did you know, that the last time it snowed here in Portland was in 1990?!? But even then, though it snowed, it never stuck, i.e. never collected on the ground.

Do you know when was the last time it snowed on Christmas and collected on the ground? 1936!!!

Then 70 years later, I come to Portland and it's my first Christmas here, and do you know what happens? It snows!! It gets even better!! It sticks too!! So in spite of the prediction that the chances of a white Christmas is less than 1%, Portland had a White Christmas!! Actually a Semi-White Christmas. The snow didn't cover the ground and roof tops entirely!!! there were some patches showing through.



On Christmas day, we were sitting in the living room of Paul's Parent's house, watching my wedding video, to while away the time until Christmas lunch. And I feel rather sad to say, that it almost put me to sleep!! It pains me further to say that I don't remember half the things on the wedding video :( Anyway, everyone was watching the video and I was dozing off when Mom brings my attention to.... The Snow!!! It was snowing and very fast too. I took some pictures of their backyard where the snow had collected, and it looked, Semi-White :)

Then we went out, and I scraped up some of the snow and made some mini snowballs, and me and Paul, had a snowball fight!!! As expected, Paul got me every time, and I missed every time, but once. :(

I really like snow but I don't like some of the things it brings with it, mostly ice and brrrr.... the cold. Though it doesn't snow here that often, ice does form pretty easily, especially on the cars. So one day when we were coming back from work, Paul pretended to get really excited when we neared the car."Oooooh Honey, do you want to try something new?" Me, being the customary bholi-bhali-lalloo, I went "Yes, Yes, Yes!!!" So he goes, "Look at the ice on the car! Have you seen this before?" I was really excited, "Oh Wow!! No, No! This is the first time!" Then he shows me this tool, a scraper. It's a plastic thing with a flat head and a small handle. Then Paul says, "Take this, and start scraping the ice from the windshield. You start from the edge and move to the center. Then you can do it from the other side." I still didn't get that he was tricking me into one of the most undesirable tasks ever! He got into the car and turned on the heater, while I dutifully started the scraping. If I ever missed a spot, he would happily point it out. Halfway through the front windshield, my hands were beginning to hurt, it was really cold, I was scraping ice after all!! When I'm finally done, and thought the torture is over, he says "Now the side windows. And then you can do the back windshield." I grunted and muttered my way through the rest of them. But I didn't complain, after all it was my stupidity that got me there!!

Now, Paul thought he could fool me again, and again. So the next time there was ice on the car, he said, "Oooooh Honey!! Do you want to do something exciting?" I got into the car, buckled up, turned on the heat and said, "Yes please! I would like to see it from in here!!" :P

You don't fool me twice!!! (OK, maybe sometimes....)

Source: All weather statistics are the courtesy of: Paul :)

Book Review: Interpreter of Maladies

The Interpreter of Maladies is a collection of short stories written by the author Jhumpa Lahiri. Her recent claim to fame was the book Namesake, which was made into a movie! The whole reason I began reading the book is because my sister-in-law recommended it and because it's by Jhumpa Lahiri!!

So I read the first story titled, 'A Temporary Matter' and I would like to mention, that it's one of the most depressing stories I have read in a really long time. Its about this Bengali couple living in the US and how their marriage disintegrates after the death (stillborn) of their first child. I was so depressed after reading this that I even fought with Paul for no reason!! :( This story sets the theme for most of the other stories, which basically describe Indian couples (mostly Bengali) in the US who are unhappy with their lives and end up cheating on each other!! For a newly wed Indian couple like me and Paul, this was seriously not the right book!! There were a couple of stories that weren't based on this theme. These were stories about poor ladies in Bengal who were either mistreated, raped or abandoned. I think the author needs a new hobby, you know, like Happiness!!!!

That said and done, her writing skills do deserve some commendation. I like the way in which she describes even the smallest nuances of Bengalis, like the big red bindi, the love for fish, the draw string pajams that the Bengali men always wear, and such many other little details.

If, for some odd reason you want to read the book, it is available on Google Books!!

All in all, I wouldn't recommend this book as recreational reading. Do so only if you are forced to, under gunpoint!

Every 'Snappy Shoe' has a 'Silver' Lining

I bought these really snappy Nike shoes the other day, all silver, with a pink shwoosh (you know, the tick mark). I hated going to work after Christmas, and I had to work!! But if I had to, I thought, might as well wear my silver sneakers and feel good. So there I was, 9:00 am in the morning walking along the almost deserted corridor (most people were on vacation). I was so happy about my shoes, that I was walking with a spring in my step. Not the Alice-in-wonderland kind of spring, but more like the shake-your-hip-and-bob-your-head kind of spring. My head bobbing was mostly because I was looking down at my sneakers while I was walking, and my head kept switching from one foot to the other.

Suddenly, I saw the tips of another pair of shoes in the periphery of my vision. A pair of white shoes. A pair of white, un-cool-since-it-was-un-silver, non-Nike shoes. I was appalled!! Which true Oregonian wears non-Nike shoes!! (Maybe someone who doesn't know 4 Nike employees!! But I wasn't thinking then). But I was even more appalled, because half a second later a hard boiled egg plonked onto my silver sneaker and rolled off towards the wall. The spring-in-my-step suddenly turned into fast, I'm-a-lil-annoyed foot tapping. I slowly looked up to analyze the source of my annoyance - an unsteady paper plate that apparently contained some one's breakfast - a few pieces of watermelon, a slice of brown bread and 2 hard boiled eggs!! The third one was on the floor!! "Sheesh", I thought, "I'm allergic to more than half the things on that plate!". I looked further up, to see who this lover of boiled eggs was. The plate was held in one hand by another Intel employee. As soon as we made eye contact, we both started the usual set of platitudes:

"Oh! I'm so sorry!!"
"Oh No! I'm so sorry!!"
"But I wasn't looking where I was going!"
"But I was. Should have seen you coming!"
"Oh but I caused you to spill your breakfast"
"Oh please! Don't worry about it. I have enough on my plate!"
"Uhhh.. OK then. Sorry again"
"No problem!!" (And she picked up the offending egg and threw it in the bin)

I walked away grateful that she didn't like her eggs sunny-side up!! Or else I would have sticky yellow yolk on my silver shoes. Even as I was sitting at my desk, every 5 mins, I would lovingly look at my silver shoes and carefully wipe it with a tissue, to remove any remnants of the hard boiled egg. After a few dozen times, my co-worker Ken started giving me funny looks. So I decided to stop. But I still couldn't be very productive, I was mesmerized by my silver shoes. So I thought maybe if I write about it, my obsession will end. If you must know, it hasn't. But for the sake of my silver shoes, I have decided that for the rest of the day, I'll walk looking up, God knows what I'll crash into next. Such a big sacrifice on my part!! Sighhhh..... I hope my shoes appreciate it some day.

On a second thought, I have decided not wear my silver shoes to work. I want to keep my job, so maybe one of the other ordinary Nikes will have to do!!

An Ode to Rosenahalli !!

Here's the poem I was talking about in the previous post Days Gone By!! Did I mention, I wasn't a poetic person?? Not only do I not write or read poems, I don't even understand most of them. But these few lines were stuck in my head, and I had to write it down, if only to get it out. But once I did that, I had to try and finish it!!

But before you go on, here is an excerpt from my previous post, that will help you understand:

"Scooter ride, reminds me of this place we used to go to, called Rajanahalli. It's the name of a village near where I grew up, but what I liked most, was the river!! The same river (Tungabadra) flowed past our colony, but here in this village it was especially beautiful. The banks were strewn with round pebbles, cool to the touch. Here and there were sand dunes, usually accompanied by some muddy pools. And the water was generally calmer, not in a hurry to go anywhere. When my friends took me there for the first time, I couldn't believe that I didn't know of this place before. After that I would beg and if that didn't work, goad them into coming to Rajanahalli with me. Seeing my interest in the place, Vinu one day titled it 'Rosenahalli'. We used to drive there on scooters and bikes, a small stretch over the highway, but most of it over muddy roads, flankedon either side by fields. The ride was just as beautiful as the destination. I loved the place so much, that it inspired a poem."

An Ode to Rosenahalli

- Rose Loney

In the sea of memories,

As the waves wash by;
I see your faces,

And days gone by.

In the era of wonderment;

Our group rode on,
As the winds went over,

Fields of rice and corn.

As we passed the huts,

And the roads that wind;
We waved to the kids,

Whom we left behind.

We stretched our sights,

So afar we could see;
Then we saw a glimmer,

And shouted with glee.

As we revved our engines,

The winds passed by;
Its a race, it said,

Between you and I.

We rushed to meet,

The calm river ahead;
And some of us skid,

On pebbles, at the river bed.

But others went on,

To beat the wind;
And great was the victory,

At the end.

To celebrate the win,

There was no champagne or wine;
So we splashed the water,

Of the river divine.

We walked on the banks,

With our feet so bare;
And the breeze played,

By messing our hair.

We sat on the dunes,

Making sand into mound;
As some skipped on the water,

The pebbles they found.

We stood in a line,

At the waters edge;
And watched the sun,

Set over the ledge.

We walked back then,

Over the pebbles round;
Making memories,

That are treasures abound.

Days gone by!!

If you read the post titled The Christmas Message, you would have heard of what Paul and his friends planned to do this Christmas. On the off chance (implied most probably), that you haven't read it, let me fill you in. Paul and his friends decided that this Christmas, instead of giving each other gifts they didn't need, they would help out some poor family, by buying them them things they needed.


So, that's exactly what they did!! We bought them groceries for a few weeks, Christmas dinner goodies, clothes and gifts for the kids and the parents. The lady, Myra, was 39 weeks pregnant and was due just the next week, so we bought some stuff for the baby too, like a bouncer, diapers, etc. So Paul's friends did the shopping last weekend, while I was doing all the baking. And today, we went to drop off all the stuff!!

We are totally 7 in number, 5 guys and 4 WAGs (Wives And Girlfriends). The 7 of us along with 4.5 of them, barely fit in the house. As we all stood and made conversation, Erin, Casey's girlfriend, said, "So, let me explain the deal here (pointing to the line of men - Paul, Clinton, Casey and Andrew) these 4 guys are childhood buddies and new each other from school. They all went to the same college and there they met Dusty. And us 4 gals are just add-ons, either wives or girlfriends." The talk moved on to which college and then the obvious topic of college football(Booo)!! The talk moved on, but I got lost in a fog of memories...

It got me thinking of my childhood friends, who incidentally are also my adulthood friends!! Most of us know each other from kindergarten days (or as some of my friends would say 'chaddi dost'. Sheesh!!). Some of them I studied with in college too and others I was roomies with even after college. As I look back I realize, even during college, I let only one person into my close circle of friends (Teju). All others were 'just' friends and as days went by, they were demoted to 'just' classmates. My close circle of friends were like my security blanket, and though I was all grownup, I wasn't ready to part with it. Now 24, and married, and half way across the globe, I'm forced to part from them. They are no longer a phone call away, no longer available to go shopping anytime, or to go bowling, or to walk in the park, or to make scooter rides to the river.

Scooter ride, reminds me of this place we used to go to, called Rajanahalli. It's the name of a village near where I grew up, but what I liked most, was the river!! The same river (Tungabadra) flowed past our colony, but here in this village it was especially beautiful. The banks were strewn with round pebbles, cool to the touch. Here and there were sand dunes, usually accompanied by some muddy pools. And the water was generally calmer, not in a hurry to go anywhere. When my friends took me there for the first time, I couldn't believe that I didn't know of this place before. After that I would beg and if that didn't work, goad them into coming to Rajanahalli with me. Seeing my interest in the place, Vinu one day titled it 'Rosenahalli'. We used to drive there on scooters and bikes, a small stretch over the highway, but most of it over muddy roads, flankedon either side by fields. The ride was just as beautiful as the destination. I loved the place so much, that it inspired a poem. And I'm not a poem kind of person u see, I don't write them and am not very good at understanding them. But if I ever finish the poem, I shall post it here on the blog.

I can still see my friend's faces and hear them talking. Gulli's chubby face, laughing and saying. "Kya re moti?!". Chaal, bobbing his head in agreement, but starting to give his customary advice (or plans b, c and d :). Shilpa, smiling and shaking her head at my clumsy antics and trying to remember where we left off the 'Boys' movie story. Vinu, playing with his keys and always teasing. Teju, laughing, with her eyes wide and asking the usual, "What ya!!". Nammu, walking in the door, promising to finish a chapter of her CCNA, but eventually falling asleep or watching TV!!

Looking at Paul and his friends, I realized that my friends aren't going to move here, and so I needed to make new ones. The old friends will always be close at heart, but in a new place, I need to make new friends. But my befriending skills are a little rusty, 20 years rusty. Until I sharpen my skills, I guess Paul will have to do :) .

The Christmas Message

Christmas is one of my favorite times of the year. Even when I was in India, where Christmas wasn't so commercialized, somehow the Christmas spirit finds me. I become more loving, there's a lot more smiling, carol humming(I don't sing), all the channels have Christmas movies playing and then there's Baking!! Woo-Hoo!! The smell of freshly baked cakes and cookies!! It's something, especially when your Mom and maid are doing all the work and you enjoy the fruits of their labor. And the Christmas tree and the decorations!! And of course the Advent fast, and going to church. When it's Christmas I never wanted to study, I just wanted to smile and walk around the house. But of course, I never had that luxury.

This year Christmas will be very different, not because it's going to be in a different country, but because I'll be away from my family. Or at least most of my family :( . But. But. But. I'm not going to brood on it!! I'll be seeing them all soon enough!

Coming back to the present, this last weekend marked the beginning of a string of Christmas parties with a birthday party thrown in (where I met my coworker from TCS, Bangalore!! Small world!). I have been listening to Christmas carols on the way to work, before going to bed and almost every waking moment. And then there's all the baking I did along with my Mom-in-Law!! Paul helped by eating all the defects :). We made three different kinds of cookies, fruit cakes and fudge-nut brownies!! Some of each, along with a bottle of home made plum jam and candy went into pretty red and green cane baskets that we wrapped in cellophane sheets and finished off with a pretty red, green and gold checkered christmassy bow!! We made fifteen of them!! One for each one of the families who'll be attending the Christmas shing-ding at Mom & Dad's. And of course we decorated the Christmas tree!!



Out of all the things that happened last weekend, to me the most important of all events was Paul's speech. Yesssss!! He gave a lil speech at the 'Indian Christian Fellowship' Christmas dinner. His talk was titled 'The Christmas Message'. He said it very well too!! There's a lot I can say about the true Christmas spirit, but it's all very well summarized in his speech. So I decided to include his speech here, warts and all!!

The Christmas Message

-Paul Alappat

Christmas is one of my most favorite times of the year. I love getting to spend the time with my family, singing Christmas carols, seeing all the houses decorated with lights, but most importantly, getting to celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ. Just as Jesus's birth marked a new beginning for mankind, the Christmas season for us can be a time of new beginnings. It can be a chance for us to reflect on our relationship with God and with others. Have we been faithful disciples of Christ? What areas in our lives do we need to focus on improving?

My experience in India comes as a sharp contrast to my experience here in the US. It really hit me yesterday when I spent most of the day driving from one shop to another buying things, returning things, and exchanging things. Traffic was terrible and the lines were way too long. As I sat in my car, stuck in pre-Christmas traffic, it really hit me how different the Christmas season is here from India. Personally, I don't get the same sense of spiritual preparation as I do in India.

I've had the opportunity to spend several of my last Christmas's in India and it’s always been an amazing experience. Not just because I get to spend time with my relatives or eat great food, but the weeks leading up to Christmas seem quite different to me. In India, I feel there's much more focus on preparing ourselves spiritually for the birth of Jesus in the weeks leading up to Christmas. Preparation involved, not just setting up a Christmas tree and nativity scene sculptures, but also sacrificing something we love until Christmas, as an offering to God and so that we would enjoy it more on Christmas day. Preparation also involved saying extra prayers so that our hearts would be fit for infant Jesus to enter it. Come Christmas morning, we would attend mass early in the morning, and settle down to a great a Christmas feast with our family. Not one single present was exchanged.

If I were in the US, after mass meant opening all our Christmas presents and noting down who gave us what so that we could thank them later. If I got a gift I didn't like, I'd spend the next day in traffic trying to find the right store to return or exchange it. I think we spend days several days giving gifts, but not nearly as long thinking about our relationship with Jesus. Don't get me wrong, I love giving and receiving gifts, but I don't want that to be the focus of my Christmas season.

This year, my friends and I are doing something different. Traditionally, we'd all go shopping and buy gifts for each other and choose a day to exchange them. We decided that this was just a waste of time, energy and money. We all have everything we need, but we recognized that some of our brothers and sisters don't have some of the comforts we take for granted. So, we've decided instead of buying gifts for each other, we're going to sponsor an underprivileged family with little kids so that we can help brighten up their Christmas season. I feel that by helping those less fortunate, I am helping to spread God's love and compassion to others. So this Christmas if you find yourself wondering what gift to get someone, consider making a donation to a charity in their name. There are plenty of opportunities even here in ICF for you to help those in need. Use the time you save by not shopping for gifts for prayer or creating joyful memories with your families.

I want to thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak with you this evening, I would like to just close by wishing all of you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

PS: After this speech, Paul got struck off many people's Christmas gift list!! It's all for charity they said :) Uh-Oh, the downside of preaching....

Work-e-licious

Those of you who know me, know that I'm not very keen on working in the software field. And that I'm not very keen on networking. So when they hear that I'm working at Intel on a storage networking project, they wonder what's wrong with me. Actually there's nothing wrong with me. Like most people I'm just following a course of my life which is the total sum of my actions in the past (Mostly Computer Engineering and my experience at TCS/EMC). It's a means of income and provides mental stimulation.

It helps that I'm working on a very interesting new protocol. In fact that is the reason why I'm writing this post!! My work is in the media!!! Of course, only 1/10000 of the effort that went into making this happen was mine. But hey, I had some part in it!! So I'm gonna bask in the glory, however small it may be!! :)
I know it's kinda drab, but here's the quote anyway:

"Intel has just announced and released source code for their Open-FCoE project, which creates a transport allowing native Fibre Channel frames to travel over ordinary Ethernet cables to any Linux system. This extremely interesting development will mean that data centers can lower costs and maintenance by reducing the amount of Fibre Channel equipment and cabling while still enjoying its benefits and performance. The new standard is backed by Cisco, Sun, IBM, EMC, Emulex, and a variety of others working in the storage field. The timing of this announcement comes as no surprise given the uptake of 10-Gb Ethernet in the data center."

Tube Attractions

Everybody has some favorite TV Shows that they live by. While I was growing up the list included shows like Friends, Everybody Loves Raymond, Fraiser, The Simpsons, The 70's show and The Charmed Ones. After coming to the US, my whole TV watching routine has gone topsy turvey. And what a blessing that has been!! I have discovered some shows here I would never wanna miss. Here are some of them:

The Family Guy:

The Family Guy starts with the following theme song:

It seems today,
That all you see,
Is violence in movies,
and sex on T.V.

But where are those good old fashion values....
On which we used to rely?!

Lucky theres a family guy!
Lucky theres a man who,
possitively can do,
all the things that make us...
Laugh and cry!

HES
A
FAM-
ILY
GUUUUUUUYYY!!!!

Of course, each and every episode goes on to contradict the sanity of the title song!! Initially when I heard about Family Guy, I refused to watch it. I felt disloyal to The Simpsons. But I watched one episode, and I was hooked!! My favorite character is Stewie, the uber intelligent 1 year old baby with only 2 dreams: world domination and murder of his mother Louis. Here's the scene that made me fall in love with him. I just love the way he talks!!




House:

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

You mean to say, out - of - the - blue, you are thinking of a doctor who has a bitter view of life, is addicted to pain medication, would do any inappropriate thing you can think of in his work place, but in the end all he cares about is hitting the right diagnosis and saving his patient's life (whom he might not even have met or talked to!! Phew! Long sentence). There's no way you were thinking of that!!! You were thinking of a pink doll 'house' and a tea party, weren't you??

Anyway Dr. Gregory House M.D is everything I described him to be, and more. He totally flaunts authority, especially of his boss Lisa Cuddy. What else would make him say to his team of young doctors, "Bring me the Thong of Lisa Cuddy!!" Yes, there is a valid reason for this request and No, I didn't misspell. He did say thong. :)




The Closer:

The story about Brenda Leigh Johnson, LAPD Deputy Chief for Priority Homicide.

A lady from the south with a big title to go with her big mouth (literally) and her humongous-larger than life-makes my ear hurt-can't stand it another minute-southern accent. Turned off already??

Wait!!! This is a list of my favorite shows, not the ones I hate the most!! So I do love this show and here is the reason why.

You would think this woman can't even handle being a traffic Cop, but she is the LAPD Deputy Chief for Priority Homicide and she handles it really well. She's a total klutz, has no respect for the LAPD regulations for budgeting and is an incredibly bad dresser. But it's great to see how this bumbling lil bee stumbles into a man's world and against all odds, totally conquers it. She's called the closer for a reason. She closes every single case she takes on, with a confession.

Heroes:

This is a sci-fi. I'm not usually a sci-fi fan but this won is Am-A-Zing!!!

It's something like X-men. A bunch of people with mutations. Mutations, so extra powers. Extra powers, so they decide to form a gang called, believe-it-or-not , 'Heroes' and start saving the world. Hold on!!! Why does the world need saving, you ask?? Of course, as nature would have it, a few of the very powerful mutants decide to play the bad boys. And oh yes, as always there's a bunch of nuts who form a company and try to play God!! Our heroes have to stop them too!! One of the lead characters is an Indian, Dr Suresh. Very macho and good looking too. (But of course not as good looking as Paul! Ahem !! He's the only one who reads my blog. Got to be nice to him :)


My review of the show might seem very sarcastic to you, but I totally, totally, totally love it!! I even RAN once, from Tanasbourne Village to my apartment 'cause I was late for the show. Wondering why this is a big deal?? Because I never RUN!! Da!! Anyway the review had a sarcastic hint because I have been thinking and talking in Stewie's voice (you know, from Family Guy). He's a lil sarcastic. Oh man, he cracks me up! If I ever had a son, I would want him to be like Stewie.

No, wait.

That would make me his mother....

Whom he would want to kill....

Hmmmm......

Ah... No, I don't think so. I would just spank his nappy-clad-bum and say "No Stewie. Guns bad. Dogs good. Go play with Brian (their Dog who talks)".

If you get a chance watch these shows. The title of each show is a link to it's online on-demand site. You can watch it for free!!

What's Up on the Internet?

One of my latest pass times is to look things up on the internet. What's new about that, you may ask. When I say look things up, I mean, look up words as I 'think' them. Like, 'I skipped breakfast today...' and I look up 'breakfast'. No, (rolling eyes) this is not my first time on the internet! I suddenly feel like it!!

So, I found out yesterday that of one our family friends passed away. This saddened me, and so I looked up 'death' on the internet. And I came up on an interesting webpage called the 'death clock'. According to this page I'll be dead in January 2040 at the age of 57!! When I mentioned this to Paul, my husband, he pretended to be devastated. (But in his mind he must have been picking out his next wife :-) !!)

Oh I was also looking up names of all my friends and relatives. Most of my relatives were on the internet because of my wedding website and some of my friends were on the internet because of their blogs, memberships, esnips etc. Now everybody is on the internet. Even my 6 month old nephew Jacob is on some church's website!!

I also looked up the word blog, and I realized it means an 'Online Diary' or 'Web log'!! Now, I knew this, but it never occurred to me to maintain it like a diary. It would be interesting, wouldn't it?? So I have decided to do just that!

So what's been happening with me so far?

Oh ya! I had my annual physical exam with my Medical Practioner (MP). Now I was meeting her for the first time since my previous MP left seeking better opportunities. Anyway, she told me that I have this auto immune thyroid condition (basically my immune system is attacking my thyroid gland – I looked it up on the Internet :-), and she suggested I start hormone pills to help my gland function. It is supposed to ease my symptoms and make me feel more energetic (as opposed to feeling tired and moody most of the time). So, after I left the doctor’s office I head to the lobby where Paul's been patiently dozing, and give him the news. The conversation that followed was kind of interesting:

Paul: So, these are ‘hormone’ pills?
Me: yes....
Paul: They’ll make you feel different?
Me: Yes. Hopefully better!!
Paul: Don’t ‘hormone’ pills have side effects....
Me: No, not these.
Paul: So, this will change how you feel?
Me: (A lil puzzled now) Yes.....
Paul: (A lil aghast) So, this will make you a different person??!?
Me: (Finally realizing Paul’s the typical man...) Don’t worry, it won’t affect our 'night' life.
Paul: *Big Sigh*
A small pause later....
Paul: (Smiling with relief) So this is supposed to improve your health, ha?
Of course, in the ‘man world’ health is always secondary.

What are you Waiting for?

It's been ages since I wrote a blog!! Over a year and a half. You would think I would have a lot to say. But I feel rather melancholy, lost even. Scenes from my past flash before me. They aren't happy scenes or sad scenes. Oddly, they are all scenes of me waiting... I seem to be waiting for the same thing each time.... Waiting for the future!! Sounds odd, doesn't it?

I'm 18 and taking a break from cramming botanical names for my 12th grade Biology finals. I stand behind the curtain and watch my mother take a nap. It’s been a habit of mine since I was 2 years old. I stand there, willing her to open her eyes and see me. And she does. My eyes well up with tears and I go hug her. "What is it Rose? Are you tensed about the exam? Shall we pray? You'll feel better then" We kneel and pray, but halfway she gets up to answer a call. I look up and see the benevolent face of Jesus smiling back at me and I pray, let these exams go by, in the future my college exams will be better.

I'm 22 and it’s the night before my Final Year Engineering exam. I stand behind the curtain and watch my mother lying in bed, reading a magazine. She looks up at me and smiles a knowing smile, she knows what's coming. "Will you sleep in my room Mummy? I'm a little scared to sit alone and study". We both go to my room and say a prayer before she goes to bed. I look up at the cross above my bed and pray, let these exams go by, in the future when I start my job, life will be a lot less stressful.

I'm sitting on my bed and staring at the 2 empty beds before me. My roommates are both on their night shift. Due to my fear of sleeping alone, I turn on all the lights and the television and get under the blanket. How strange my life has been, I think. A lifetime of education later, I end up working morning to evening and come home to an empty room. All the important things like being with family and friends have been shoved off to the weekends along with all the other errands. I close my eyes and sigh. Maybe when I get married and start working it will be different. At least I’ll have someone to come home to...

I’m sitting on the couch in front of our red accent wall staring at the cross of Jesus hanging over the fireplace. It’s been three months since I got married. My family went back, my honeymoon’s over, my Green Card application is all filed, the house is all set and everything looks good. As I look at Jesus’ face on the wooden cross, my thoughts echo back through him - “What are you waiting for?” “For my Green Card, so I can start working again. Once I start working my life will be on track, finally!” I say.

I open my eyes and instinctively stifle a yawn. I look around the server lab at Intel, where I work; making sure no one caught me getting 40 winks. I look at the time at the bottom of my computer screen and think, “It’s Friday and I can’t wait for the weekend”. It suddenly occurs to me that I have been waiting an awful lot, all through my life!! “That’s not true”, says the ‘waiter’ in me, “give me an example”. I start thinking... I’m 18 and taking a break from cramming botanical names for my 12th grade....

You know the rest!!!

We all wait for the next thing in our lives to happen, hoping that the next destination will be more perfect than the present. We don’t realize two things. One, that perfect is absolute, it can never be ‘more’ perfect. And second, each destination in our lives eventually becomes a pit stop to a final destination. It is pointless to wait for anything, because when one wait is over, another
will begin.

I have decided to stop waiting. I have decided my final destination – retiring after 25-30 years and going back to India and living close to my parents. Maybe adopt a kid or two. Of course I have planned a few pit stops – having kids, getting my post graduation, enter the workforce again, put the kids through college, get them married to Indians, etc. But of course, I’m not ‘waiting’ for anything... I’m just ‘planning’.... What??! It’s human nature to plan. No, it’s not a substitute for waiting!! Of course there’s credibility to what I’m saying!!

Hey! Don’t give me that look.

That’s it then!